3 Things that Stop You Putting Yourself Out There

Here are 3 main ways you stop yourself from getting your business out there;

I have been there too!  

1. Fear of rejection

“Rejection is the ultimate insult to a sense of belonging”.    

What if I put myself out there and no one comes to me?  How will that make me feel?  

Will it trigger the old wounds of unworthiness and shame?     Will the usual rhetoric start, “I knew no one would want to come to me!”.   “No one ever listens to me anyway, told you so”.  

These old stories are likely based on perceptions and beliefs you formed when you were young.   Maybe you felt rejected by your peers at school, maybe you felt you had to become someone you weren’t in order to fit in.  

After years of listening to your own story, it has such a tight hold on you that you can’t shift it. 

Even though others “see” the work you do and the benefits it brings to people, you don’t.

I see this playing out in children’s lives in sports.    Despite a coach encouraging a child they know can do better, the child doesn’t take the encouragement because they can’t see it in themselves.

Or worse still the coach who criticises the child, (the one who already feels he is no good), and so the child gets validation for his/her belief .. that they are no good.

2. Fear of judgment

What if they find out I am a fraud?

So you have tentatively put yourself out there, you are filling in that entry form for a business award.  Suddenly you read one of the questions and your head goes into a spin.   You think of someone you know who is also entering and immediately your heart sinks and you say, “Why bother, they have more experience, more followers, more whatever than me”.    

You feel like a fraud, and you give up. 

But what if you see your fear for what it really is?

An e-motion.   A messenger molecule that is telling you what story you are holding on tight to – in this instance, fear of putting yourself out there for fear of being judged. 

Fear, like every other emotion, is necessary but that doesn’t mean it’s necessary to let it win.   

Picture your fear as a person, grabbing a basket of popcorn watching from the wings and seeing everyone else do the thing you desperately want to do while all the time, convincing yourself you aren’t good enough anyway.

OR you can look at fear as the guardian of your comfort zone.   We all have comfort zones, they keep us safe.  

But your comfort zone doesn’t allow you to shine brighter, it keeps you in the wings eating popcorn and watching everyone else.    

3. Then you decide you don’t have enough time.

Really?   Or is it procrastination, another level of fear?  

 You are almost there, you got the entry form as far as your desk, all you need to do is pick up your pen and write something, anything.   Edits are possible, don’t forget! 

Just let your pen write your personal story of who you are and what you do.    Find your why for what you do and remember if your why doesn’t make you cry then it’s likely not your why. 

That’s the ONLY way around procrastination.  Take action and do it from your heart not your head.    Your heart will guide the answers, your head will help will bring structure to what you wrote.  Then, copy and paste it into the online form and hit the enter button.    

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.   You have taken a step to shine your light and most importantly you have taken action.   Anything else is a bonus!

Good luck on your journey, whatever that looks like, and wherever you are on your path to success.  Remember you are unique, there’s no one in the world like you, so comparing yourself is a waste of your precious energy.  Put your energy to good use and fill out that entry form.