Shame

Shame is when you believe you are something that makes you feel bad; for example you do something wrong and you think you are a bad person.

You can sometimes feel shame when everyone laughs at you when you say something they think is wrong. That is a very hard thing to deal with. 

You can sometimes become fearful and feel like changing who you are and pretending to be like someone else, in order not to feel shame. But being you, is a choice you make everyday and if you feel ashamed of something you did start to think about yourself differently instead of feeling the shame. Instead of saying I am Bad start to think, I am a good person but I made a bad decision. By doing this you know you are not BAD you realise you just made a bad decision. Next time you can make a different decision.

Another way to avoid shame is to not let the opinions of others affect you, as long as you are acting in a good way and not hurting anyone you have nothing to feel shame for.  If you start to fight back at others or change yourself, then you are giving your power to them. You can learn to become resilient.

While you cannot change something that happened in the past you can change your feelings about it. You can accept that it happened and move forward. You can take the strong emotional feeling from it by doing some tapping.

You can look at a picture of the tapping points here or watch a You Tube video showing you where the points are by clicking here.

You can pick any one of these lines below to say when you are tapping or you can make up your own things to say.

Even though I feel so ashamed for what happened to me I fully and completely accept myself.

Even though I wish the ground would open up and swallow me because I feel so ashamed I fully and completely accept myself.

Even though I am afraid I will do or say the wrong thing again I fully and completely accept myself.

I accept that I am not perfect and I am ok with that.

Being perfect is too hard and is not necessary I accept myself the way I am.

I accept that I can get things wrong at times and I fully and completely accept myself and I can learn from my mistakes.

And remember, it is ok to feel all the emotions you feel.